Atheist Pagan

I've never found a word for what I believe... all I've ever done when asked is either let people assume what they want about my beliefs (because it's none of their business anyway) or just used the umbrella term of "Pagan" and explained that it is in fact just an umbrella term when I use it. I always end up having to explain them before anyone really understands what I mean, and while I don't mind not having a set word that sums up my beliefs... it gets VERY annoying. My husband is an agnostic, and we get into religious discussions often. One day he was asking about my personal beliefs, and after I explained a bit he came to the conclusion that I'm an Atheist.

I am all about freedom of religion and every one's equal and whatnot... but this word really upset me. I had no idea it would rub me the wrong way so much. In all honesty, I've grown apart from my meditations and everything because of it. All I can think of when I hear the word "atheist" is those kids in high school that wear black and talk about how much they hate Christianity and smoke pot all the time. I hate being so prejudice, but high school ruined that word for me... I can't stand to imagine having such a hate-filled word tagged onto me, but when I think about how I don't believe in any god/desses, past lives or an after life (because I don't believe in souls), that nothing needs to be worshiped, and I don't practice magik or spells because I believe in karma (not the misconstrued "what goes around, comes around" deal, but the "Que ser a, ser a" kind of thing... just accepting the facts of life). My list is a bunch of "I don'ts" and that makes it sound so... Atheist.

But I just don't feel like that makes me Atheist... I think that makes me a realist. If I can't see proof that it exists or a logical explanation for it... then I just don't think it's there, but I do believe all living things should be deeply respected, that the Sun brings us life every day, and the Moon is the best calendar we'll ever have. I celebrate Solstices, eclipses, and moon phases because of the amazing, perfectly timed dance the Sun, Earth, and Moon weave around each other. I believe the Earth is our mother, and that she nurtures and teaches us so much.... that death is just as wonderful as birth; there is a definite end to all things, and that isn't a bad thing. I don't think it's wrong to hate, because if you can love, then you can hate, too... anything you can do to one extreme, you can do to the other. I believe in a full circle of life, yin and yang, and a connection between all living things.

I can't even find out what Atheists really stand for, because all the research I've done has come up with nothing more than their hate for religion. How do I know if what I'm saying is a perfect match to "Atheist"? I'd like to be able to either come to means with the fact that I'm an Atheist, or be able to have a solid answer for why I'm not one. As of now I can't do either, and my spirituality is suffering from it. Any words of wisdom?

Reference: pagan-wiccan.blogspot.com